My NAR Red Flag Retrospective

A Review of My Experiences In the New Apostolic Reformation

VIP Prophecies & Deliverance Fees

I remember excitedly telling my best friend that I was going to receive ministry from a prophet who was coming to my church. She made a face and commented on the bizarreness of the situation.

I had been called by the pastor’s wife and asked if I would like to receive prophetic ministry from a guest speaker on Sunday morning.

My friend thought it distasteful that people were being picked ahead of time for this special privilege. I understood where she was coming from- it did have a ring of favoritism to it. However, at the time, I was too excited to care.

When this particular minister came to town, he liked to have the pastors hand-pick folks for him to give personal prophecy to. I was picked, as a single person with a lot of potential to be unlocked.

A couple of years later, as a newly wed, I was selected again to receive ministry with my husband by my side.

We were also selected to receive scholarships to pay for 2 years of supernatural ministry class.

As people who received favor, we didn’t have much space to complain about the favoritism or fees to be involved in things. Though, I do remember thinking that I would have signed up for a SOZO session if it had not had a fee associated with it. In retrospect, I thank God that the paywall existed and kept me from exposing myself to the controversial inner healing/ deliverance ministry.

We had multiple friends and family who did not receive the favoritism that we did. They ended up leaving our hyper-Charismatic church, specifically citing that they felt there was too much emphasis on money and that all of the things they wanted to participate in cost money. One of them said to me:

“I can’t afford to attend this church.”

Again, I will admit that I was too excited to care. My husband and I had a seat at the cool table, and we didn’t stop to consider that there were other people outside of that inner circle of favoritism who felt the pain of being left out.

In retrospect, I see that this is a sad commentary on a place that is meant to bring hope to all people- not simply those who can afford it.

“My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?”

James 2:1–4, ESV

Reviling Principalities

The following sections of Scripture were consistently a pebble in my shoe as a hyper-Charismatic.

Take a look and see if you can spot why…

In the very same way, on the strength of their dreams these ungodly people pollute their own bodies, reject authority and heap abuse on celestial beings. But even the archangel Michael, when he was disputing with the devil about the body of Moses, did not himself dare to condemn him for slander but said, “The Lord rebuke you!” Yet these people slander whatever they do not understand, and the very things they do understand by instinct — as irrational animals do — will destroy them.

Jude 1:8–10, ESV

Bold and arrogant, they are not afraid to heap abuse on celestial beings; yet even angels, although they are stronger and more powerful, do not heap abuse on such beings when bringing judgment on them from the Lord. But these people blaspheme in matters they do not understand. They are like unreasoning animals, creatures of instinct, born only to be caught and destroyed, and like animals they too will perish.

2 Peter 2: 10b-12, ESV

Did you spot it?

Hyper-Charismatic spiritual warfare practices rely heavily on diagnosing which devils are causing trouble, rebuking them, and casting them out by various means.

I think there is a fine line between being discerning when evil is afoot and being puffed up with your own assertion of authority over beings whom we cannot fully understand.

There is also a discussion worthy of being had on this subject as it pertains to the calling of the Apostles versus the calling of the average believer. We see the Apostles exercising a level of authority and spiritual gifting that they themselves did not instruct the churches to carry on with. That’s a larger conversation, and I will save the thought for another time.

Bethel’s Grave Soaking

The next red flag I will recall was raised as I was sitting with a friend outside of a coffee shop, beneath a green cafe umbrella. The friend was a girl who I had built a recent friendship with based on our common interest in studying the Bible.

On this afternoon, she was sharing with me her concern about Bethel church in Redding, California. I was a big fan of the church and it’s pastors. At this time, I had actively been seeking out teaching from their leaders and consuming it almost daily through books, blogs, music, and podcasts.

My friend told me that she had previously thought Bethel was a good resource, but she now felt it was a stumbling block… I listened to her, nodding and hearing out her points. I scoffed when she told me about the “grave soaking.”

She explained that it was the practice of soaking up a dead person’s anointing by laying on top of their grave site.

That sounded weird, and creepy, and outlandish.

I argued that just because someone who was associated with Bethel did this thing didn’t mean it was a practice endorsed by the church. People are strange. They go off the rails all the time, without the endorsement of their church.

In retrospect, I wish I would have taken the warning a little more seriously and researched into this matter. It was a red flag that I completely disregarded.

I will add that it wasn’t just people who had gone off the rails who engaged in this practice. And it’s not even the practice itself that is disturbing so much as it is the theological implications of the practice.

The idea that we can (and should) recover residual anointing or dropped mantles from saints of the past by way of their grave brings up some questions, like:

1. How can we tell when the vein of anointing in the grave has been tapped and is no longer available? Is there a way to control how much I take? I want to leave some for the next guy.
2. If I don’t have the resources to travel to someones grave, can I use Google Earth, a photograph, or some other means, as a point of contact instead of being there physically? I mean, just how close do I need to be in order to harvest this lost anointing?
3. What if the dead saint doesn’t want to give up his anointing? How do I know if they are consenting? Is this like a “It’s me, Esau- touch my hairy arm” kind of trick, or do I have to ask God to vouch for me?
4. And why do I have to wear the hand-me-down mantle of someone who went before me? Can God not afford to buy me a mantle of my own, fresh with the tags still on? Man, if only I were the oldest child, I could get something new!

This is a subject that’s been looked at with a lot of sobriety, all over the Internet, so forgive my levity. It’s honestly just so silly.

The Amazing, Healing Gospel

I will never forget being at the Power and Love Conference, hosted by Todd White, in 2013. It felt like such an exciting, powerful time- accompanied by red flags, which I ignored.

I was changing the lyrics to the worship songs as we all sang.

I felt weird that I was singing about myself so much. It felt like Christ was simply a means to an end, which was to discover how awesome I am.

I changed the lyrics and prayed, thinking it was a misguided worship band, not noticing it was the theme of the whole weekend.

The whole theme of the conference could be boiled down to two points:

1. If you accept that God created you to be amazing, you can kill the sin nature and manifest your amazingness.
2. You can develop perfect faith in order to manifest a gift of healing. Then, you can use the gift of healing in order to convince people that God created them to be amazing too!

The Gospel became: God thinks you’re amazing, and He wants to heal you.

Anyone who is familiar with White’s ministry, will know that he markets this idea as being “normal Christianity.”

We separated into groups and went hunting for people who looked like they needed to be healed. We told people that God thought they were amazing.

I think a few people probably heard the gospel. I really hope so.

Theological Confusion

My husband and I attended our (former) church’s School of the Supernatural. It was a 9 month long school, meeting weekly, which offered video teachings from Bethel’s School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM) along with required reading, discussions, prophecies, special guest speakers, and time for testimonies from those who were experiencing supernatural happenings in their lives.

We attended for 3 years. The last year was mostly remote, as it was 2020 and shut downs began mid-school year.

One red flag moment from school stands out.

We had a speaker who was laying out what Christ did at the cross, and he was unpacking some revelation regarding the cross that was meant to empower us in our supernatural lifestyles.

Either God forgave us or He required payment for our sin, there was no nuanced understanding about how both could be true. Jesus’ death was not so much the means of our salvation as it was simply a show of His love for us. No sacrifice was actually necessary for atonement.

The speaker paused, and someone in class asked the question: “Are you saying that Jesus didn’t die for our sins? Because that’s what I was always taught growing up.”

The speaker had so convoluted the gospel with their own personal revelation that someone stopped to question the most fundamental aspect of the Christian faith.

Frankly, in my retrospective view, I find this to be my biggest qualm with the Charismatic movement. All too often, the emphasis on personal revelation becomes supreme, over and above the revelation found in Scripture.

People begin to read the Bible through the lens of their personal prayer encounters and the prophecies they’ve heard from so-called generals of the faith.

The hermeneutic is not historical, cultural, or theological- instead it becomes hyper-mystical and self-centered.

The Bible itself becomes a medium for individual spiritual encounters, rather than writings which have objective meaning and applicable value for the Church.

Not only did I notice the atonement being downplayed, but I also noticed that sin was downplayed. I began to realize that when the nature of man was preached about, the standard for mankind’s goodness and their relationship with God was drawn from Genesis 1 and 2, while Genesis 3 (the fall of mankind/ original sin) was outright ignored.

I remember hearing on a Sunday morning that Adam and Eve chose to leave the Garden of Eden because of their shame. The angels with flaming swords guarding the entrance of the gate to keep them out? Erased from the story.

I was asked to believe that all people were created as children of God and they essentially needed to awaken to their true nature. The separation between man and God was a myth. Sin was not the nature of man, it was simply an action that mankind engaged in as a result of their shame.

Do you see how it all plays together? If you downplay the sin issue, then the cross becomes a tragic incident that didn’t need to happen instead of a glorious triumph over evil by a God who sacrifices Himself for the redemption of His people.

I was raised like that guy in class. My parents always told me that Jesus died for our sin. I didn’t know much, but I knew enough for this to bother me. In fact, it was the red flag that I couldn’t ignore.

Breaking My Cognitive Dissonance

It was the spring of 2021, and we had all been slowly returning to work, school, and church after the pandemic.

One week, a speaker by the name of Harold Eberle had come to visit the church, and his thick systematic theology book was on sale for a mere $16.00 at the book table in the lobby. Never one to pass up a good deal, I purchased a copy.

I had been thinking and studying a lot recently about my Christian faith, and I had a desire to know more. Eberle gave me kudos for my interest in theology, signed the flyleaf page, and returned to greeting the others who had found him after the morning service to chat.

Systematic Theology for the New Apostolic Reformation was a book that I purchased with optimism. I was excited to dig in to theology and understand more about God, and this particular text had been marketed to everyone for the past three years as recommended reading by the instructor of the school of the supernatural.

At the height of my cognitive dissonance, when I found myself finding disagreement instead of peace each Sunday at church, I decided to read Eberle’s work.

I have a lot of thoughts about Eberle’s book and the theology of the NAR. However, that is a hefty topic, and I consider it a writing project that I will need to save for another time.

However, I will say that in the opening sections of the book, Eberle takes time to explain that the Protestant Reformation and its theologians fell short. He took time to describe the character flaws of the Reformers, in order to encourage the reader to deconstruct with him many of the basic theological ideas which were formed during the time of the Reformation.

Well, I hadn’t ever been exposed to the teachings of the Reformers. I just knew that at Halloween time I would always get a chuckle out of Internet memes of Martin Luther nailing 95 Reese’s to the church door.

I added Reformed theology and the Protestant Reformation to my list of things to research.

In addition to reading Eberle’s book and researching the theology of the Reformers, I typed “New Apostolic Reformation” into a search engine online.

This began my going down the rabbit hole. I studied and researched almost unceasingly.

I remember trying to watch movies or listen to music and quickly shutting those things off in order to read my Bible, listen to teaching, and hear out the critique of those who had concerns with what they observed in Bethel and similar churches.

I was hungry for answers, wherever they might come from. I listened to Calvinists, Charismatics, Lutherans, Baptists- anyone who was touching on the theological subjects that I found myself wrestling with.

I had exited the Echo Chamber.

It was a few weeks before Easter when my husband and I quietly requested a break from serving on Sunday morning. We also opted to stay home, in part because we had rescued a dog with severe separation anxiety around this time, and in part because we were not so sure we wanted to continue in the Charismatic world.

My theological concerns had only deepened since I began my research months earlier.

I heard lots of people mention the American Gospel films, and I held off for a long time to do my own research, but eventually, I purchased copies of the first two films. When we watched them together, both my husband and I were cut to the heart.

Ultimately, we decided not to go back to our church.

In Retrospect…

No theology is perfect. I don’t claim to have it all figured out, and I don’t claim that everything taught in the NAR is totally bananas. After all, I was in it for many years. I had significant spiritual growth and I made great friendships along the way. The gospel was present.

A theology where the gospel is central is what I was searching for.

A movement where anything else is central isn’t going to bring peace. I didn’t have peace when I was in the thick of the NAR. I grappled for peace, just as I grappled for supernatural experiences, spiritual gifts, revelatory insights, and the fulfillment of my personal destiny.

I have found peace in being forgiven.

I have found peace in the gospel, stripped of the trappings of the modern, materialistic, self-centered culture.

Christ gave Himself to atone for my sin. Though He is God, Jesus became seemingly estranged from the Godhead so that I could be reconciled as one of God’s children.

He did this work, and I know now that I can rest in it. I don’t have to fulfill any divine destiny except to believe in the One that the Father has sent.

This whole journey of leaving the hyper-Charismatic movement has really been about finding my peace in Christ.

For many years, the beliefs and practices of the church circles I moved in weighed upon my heart. They separated me from the simplicity of the gospel, all the while promising to bring me closer to God.

In retrospect, I am so glad that I finally stopped and examined the flags on the field. Being curious and becoming unwilling to ignore my cognitive dissonance has made all the difference.